Sunday, December 6, 2009


ZSMART's Fakest G's Of The League:

1. Jason "White Chocolate" Williams: The only dude this cat after got after it with was a Chinese fan who told him to get used to having bench splinters instantly inserted in his ass (though not in those words).

JWill responded by verbally ambushing the peaceful man, a Golden State Warriors loyalist who was shocked by no.55's racist, profanity-laced tirade.

This incident took place back in 2001 when JWILL was getting his NBA teeth cut alongside Chris Webber in SacTown.

The NBA could use a slight image change, and J-WILL has never really been helping the cause. Especially considering he's a G like I'm a highly-acclaimed broadway singer. Grow up, fake thug.

"A Warriors season-ticket holder is accusing Sacramento's Jason Williams of shouting racial and anti-gay slurs at him and other fans sitting behind the Kings' bench during a game Feb. 28 at the Arena in Oakland."

"In a letter obtained by The Chronicle and addressed to NBA commissioner David Stern, among others, Michael Ching of Santa Clara wrote that Williams called him a "slant-eyed mother --" and said: "I will shoot all you Asian mother--. . . . Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that."

"Ching said Williams pretended, with his hands, to shoot a machine gun and imitated the sound the weapon makes."

Read more:

Now, we know you like to smoke some trees J-Dub, but so does Asher Roth and every undergrad at Skidmore College.

You don't see anyone calling them thugs, do you? To paraphrase 50, That Ain't Gangsta.

2. JR Smith: Buried underneath all the India Ink he's drenched in, behind all the cold, hard stares is a scholarly kid from St. Benedict's Preparatory School in New Jersey.

Smith's solid academic pedigree coupled with his three-point sniping and hops earned him a scholarship to play at North Carolina.

This Fake G passed it up to instantly vault into the upper percentile of the nation's wealthiest people. Yeah, dude, good for you!

While getting his ass beat by Nate Robinson at Madison Square Garden in 2006, JR had one rotund member of his camp situated in the stands, threatening all the Knicks fans who dare make fun of his precious, emotionally fragile homeboy.

Following the tempers-flaring eruption of a mammoth melee during which Carmelo Anthony sucker snuffed Mardy Collins, Smith--fresh off an ass-beating from the 5-foot-8 Nate--went to the other side of the court to cool off.

The vital member of his so-called entourage tried desperately to get Smith's attention, but the Freehold, N.J. native was a little too up in his feelings and overwhelmed to respond. Poor baby.

JR Smith's penchant for unleashing 360 dunks and then staring down the opposing team's bench before AAU games doesn't exactly force us to have to pardon his Gangster either. This guy should be wearing an Eagle Scout badge instead of those tats. Don't portay someone your not, JR. Kids look up to you. When you go around acting like your Tony Fucking Montana when you're clearly not, well....I think we all see the problem with that.

3. Kobe Bryant: While we always knew Kobe was a quiet country boy, he too often acted out of his nature to try and garner some hood credibility.

See his lyrical verses (or lack of) on the song "Thug Poet," by Nas. Kobe becomes a rapper overnight and essentially bites off a bunch of lines from the late great BIG and makes a fool of himself.

In addition to this, we all recall Kobe getting his jaw rocked by Chris Childs (a warrior of a player who overcame alcoholism and a rough upbringing and has shown his manhood by making numerous anti-drug and alcohol speeches to young people) against the Knicks and then swinging the way a fifth-grade choir boy does... Stick to the dazzling dunks Kobe, let your game do the talking as you typically do.

We must say, however, the aforementioned incident occurred when Kobe was still young and he has since developed a tougher on the court persona. Still, overnight gangsters are never held in high regard. Fake Thug, no love.

Big Sully's Picks

1. Kevin Garnett: Getting walloped by Anthony Peeler and relentlessly running his mouth but never backing up his words through action, KG has landed himself on Big Sully's no.1.

2. Shaq-Talking shit has been the Diesel's calling card, but the Brad Miller incident pretty much shows this is a big man with a big mouth and a big temper but minimum fighting ability. He has done some great things though, both on the court and off, and Big Sully recognizes this. Still, his anti-Kobe rhymes and other attempts to make himself look like a tough guy keep him at No.2

3. Shawn Bradley--The man who's been postered more than Carmen Electra, SB always acted tough but got his ass handed to him on numerous instances.