Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Endless Summer

Would you like an ice-cold summer brewsky with that coming out party, Mr. Anthony Randolph? I was immediately sold on the acclaimed spindly jack-of-all-trades forward after reading his profile on the backdrop.Supposedly, this cat is a Lamar Odom/Tay Prince hybrid who can cradle the rock like SKIP during his Rucker daze and essentially play 94 feet.
The book on him is a read easier than the New York State English Regents—tremendous upside based on his length and size (no homo), quick, explosive, funky shallow-water sling-shot but could use a serious tune-up on his shooting from beyond the arc. Still, he can thrive and create mismatches in a go-go offense (I would’ve taken him over the frail-bodied, Gallinari).The realization that Summer El competition is about as stiff my third leg upon encountering Rosie O’Donnell shaking it at a left-wing dance off, however, has materialized.
While Randolph’s skinny frame might not allow him to make the instant impact that guys like Durant or even Rudy Gay made, he could be a sleeper down the stretch. He needs a good 15-20 pounds of muscle this summer if he’s going to mudwrestle vets for any tick this year. Still, hanging 30 on the Sixers in Sin City is as solid an indicator as any that he might eventually push Troy Murphy (who could ramble into Bar None and Crack Rabbit Slims with Greg Paulus’ ID if he wereshorter).

Would You Like Some Mayo On That?
They said he can’t do this, he can’t do that…. They said the hype machine on this kid was too much and it would eventually drown him out. They said he was getting Tim Thomas-like hype (For those of you who don’t recall, T squared was made out to be the next N-e-W Jerz legend when he was coming up) that the baggage would outweigh the benefits. Mayo clicked the mute bottom on most of the detractors in his Summer El debut.
Got Juice dropped 15 points and handed out five dimes, including a lava-hot backdoor whiplash to Javaris Crittenton, who caught the rock in stride and completed a nifty up-and-under layup. Put the valium back on the shelf, don’t hit the pillow.
To paraphrase Quentin Tarantino, this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape. His swag was certainly on display, his performance underscored by a rim-ringing dunk. This was all en route to a 88-75 victory the Grizzshow stamped on the Sixers.7:03 remaining in the fourth quarter of the Sac-town/Toronto game, and Joey Graham is giving a Tylenol PM performance, begging the outside not to go to bed on the kid from Oklahoma State.
Graham has 24 points, a dozen of them coming at the charity stripe.He’s not likely to see the court this season with the Raps revamped frontcourt (the JO pickup allows them to boast one of the most formidable frontcourts in the East), but if he continues to build it (his stock that is), the burn will come.As I browse through the stat sheet back in the day style while watching Office Space (I’m trying to shotgun all these used movies and DVDs to see if I can make a pretty penny off them.) other stat lines stand out.
The unheard of Deji Akindele (Chicago/D-league) has scored 13 points and snared seven boards, but the journeyman managed to pick up eight fouls in 22 minutes.Please, Summer El, drop the whole “can’t foul out” ambiguity.
Some of these guys are looking like the kid that didn’t take their concerta in a five-players-to-a-team recreation league. It a change should be imminent after Greg Oden committed nine follies in his summer debut last season.And in breaking word around the campfire, the Knicks have no word on Marbury’s status with the club but they could be unleashing a head-spinning move.Newsday claims the Knicks want an Eric Gordon-for-Randolph trade.
According to a mysterious person close to the situation (it appears as if the Knicks have undergone another Public Relations fetal position, even with the bouncing of the Zeke that they loved to defend via cutting off controversial questions from reporters with the infamous “Thanks, Isiah” sendoff).This seems kind of out of order at this point. The Bockers will need more than three basketballs on the court if you expect Indy’s illest’s deep treys to mesh with Nate’s constant jacking and Jamal Crawford’s penchant for creating his own shot and dialing in from a different area code.The future is about as clear as the plot of Angel Dark’s last film.
Please, Mr. Walsh, come up with a proposal that will prevent us from being a three-time laughing stock in the past four years. We need the playoffs like Eliot Spitzer needs therapy for Snatch Impaling (with his socks high, Keith Van Horn style).